Find your African Love Language
Bringing the African Flavor and Flair
In honor of our Terms of Endearment collection, we explore five unique ways people celebrate love throughout the African continent.
Tasting of The Four Elements
Originating with the Yorùbá people in Nigeria and the Republic of Benin in West Africa, this unique wedding tradition is called tasting of the four elements. The bride and groom sit down and share a literal “taste” of the four stages of marriage. The sourness of Lemon represents the unavoidable disappointments the couple will face in their lifetime. Vinegar reminds them of the bitterness they will have to overcome in times of conflict. Cayenne highlights the importance of passion and spice in a successful marriage, and finally, Honey to celebrate the sweetness of a healthy and happy union.
Zulu Love Letters
Before the advent of letter writing and cell phones, the traditional practice known as ubhala abuyise or “one writes in order that the other should reply”, is one where Zulu women of South Africa used color and beading to express their feelings and to communicate messages regarding gender and marital status. One theory is that the practice of sending love letters was started by women in the 1800s and was used it to notify single men of their intentions.
Ornamental squares were created which were read from the outside inwards, similar to modern-day text messages. A second theory is that the practice of sending beaded messages was created when the Zulu men started working in the mines and it was a way for the women to comunicate with them. The intricate beaded messages given by Zulu maidens incorporated a variety of colors of beads and designs that corresponded to different feelings and messages that the lovers wanted to declare to one another. Black and White paired together means marriage. Red next to Black means aching heart. Blue and White means fidelity. Yellow, Red and Black typically means there is a fear the relationship is withering away.
“ A letter from the heart
can be read on the face. ”
Kola Nut Offerings
In many parts of West Africa, particularly the Igbo people of Nigeria, the kola nut serves as a symbol of healing,goodwill, trust, respect, and unity.ccThere is an Igbo saying "He who brings Kola brings life” The kola nut plays a crucial part in many traditional ceremonies like weddings.and is referred to in the Igbo language as Oji, in Yoruba as Obi-Abata and in Hausa as Gworo. In Gambia, if a man wants to marry a woman, he will present her with a kola nut in place of an engagement ring. If she accepts and they tie the knot, the ceremony will end with the two breaking the same kola nut together and sharing it amongst family and elders.
Traditional Igbo Engagement Customs
Knocking on the door of marriage traditions around the continent, we look at traditional Igbo marriage rites. Unlike Western cultures, where the groom-to-be will ask the woman for her hand in marriage. The Igbo groom-to-be must first arrange to meet her parents, accompanied by his own parents. This is called Iku Aka. The family of the bride-to-be will then send representatives out into the community to find out whether the groom is a respectable man from a good family. If the Iku Aka is successful, the bride's family will then provide the groom with a traditional marriage list and an overview of any local customs, which may differ from region to region.
The next step is where the groom meets the bride's extended family so that he is able to ask the family elders for permission to marry her. Finally, both families agree on the price for the hand of the bride, Ime Ego.
Aso-Ebi
Aso-ebi Meaning family clothes, this Nigerian tradition where the couple agree on a color scheme and then each side of the family wears clothes made from fabric of the same color. In Yoruba culture, it is typically fabric known as Aso-oke. A customary way to create a sense of belonging and importance for family members, these days, the tradition has grown to include close friends as well, and is a way for the celebrants to express affection for those closest to them for all to see.
Make it special.
Why not celebrate your relationship by including one of these love practices in your day? Or better yet, gift your loved one with something special from our Terms of Endearment collection.
